Of course you don’t! You gave that belief up many years ago didn’t you? And yet, you still hold beliefs today which you learned as a child and which are simply not true. For example, perhaps your parents or teachers said that you were no good at Maths, that you would never amount to anything or that you were a bad boy or girl. If you haven’t done anything to change or remove those beliefs, the chances are that they’re still running in your subconscious mind today, which will be limiting you in one or more areas of your life.
We are constantly being bombarded with opinions, ideas and information, much of it untrue. However, the most damaging are the negative opinions we frequently receive, not so much from those with ill intentions towards us but often from those with our best interests at heart – parents, teachers, loved ones and friends. Moreover, we can also be our own worst enemy. So often, what we say to ourselves is negative and not only can but does affect our performance adversely. So the key is to never ever listen either to your own or to other people’s limiting beliefs.
To illustrate this, I would like to share a true story with you, from my own childhood.
After two years attending a Secondary Modern School, I was recommended for Grammar School by the Headmaster. Simultaneously, my Father was promoted which meant not only would I be attending a new school but we would also be moving to an entirely new area.
My Mother spent some considerable time investigating the schools in the local area and finally settled upon Purbrook Grammar School. However, entrance was not automatic. Interviews and written exams ensued and finally, after a lot of blood, sweat and tears, I was accepted, not I might say without serious misgivings by the Headmaster. Somehow or other my astute Mother had managed to persuade him to accept me, against his better judgement. Phew! Thank goodness that she believed in me!
One major concern was the fact that I had not done any French at all in my previous school, which in reality meant I was two years behind. Nevertheless, I was expected to attend third year (now year 9, I believe) French classes, even though I couldn’t possibly understand what was going on. Can you imagine what that was like? Although it’s hard for me to remember the feelings, I believe it must have been a living nightmare.
Despite both the teachers and the Headmaster saying it was impossible for me to catch up (limiting belief), my Mother, being a very determined lady, was not about to be put off. Frankly, I don’t suppose I had a lot of say in the matter. After all I was only 13 years old.
And now for the goal: to complete three years French in one academic year. Impossible do I hear you say? Improbable maybe but most definitely not impossible.
And so to work. I got hold of a copy of the First Year Book and with this as our main guide, my Mother set about the daunting task of teaching me. No mean feat considering she herself only had school girl French which dated back about 25 years! Day after day, week after week including Saturdays and Sundays, we toiled. My Mother would say, come on Vanessa, it’s time to do some French. Both the regime and the teacher were exacting: conjugating numerous irregular verbs, learning endless lists of vocabulary, mastering the intricacies of French grammar and pronunciation and never being allowed to turn over a page until I knew and understood ever word. Amazingly enough, I did not complain. I just knuckled down and got on with the job at hand. (Were my Mother still alive today, she’d probably tell you that that last bit was just not true!)
What happened next was truly remarkable and certainly something which no one could have possibly anticipated.
I fell completely and utterly head over heels in love with the language and just couldn’t get enough. I was eating, breathing and sleeping it, so spellbound was I. At this juncture, the tables had completely turned. Then I was pleading with my Mother to sit down and do French with me!
“One of the greatest experiences in life is achieving personal goals that others said would be impossible to attain. Be proud of your success and share your story with others”. Robert Cheeke
The results were as follows:
At the end of the first term, we had completed the First Year Book.
At the end of the second term, we had completed the Second Year Book
At the end of the third term, I completed the Third Year Book on my own.
In the Summer Exams that year, I came fourth in the class out of about 30. Better still, I won the school prize for my French A level gaining a double A grade. It was a major triumph.
Since then, I have lived in French-speaking Africa, been married to a Frenchman, taught French privately to adults and even been mistaken for French on more than one occasion! Imagine how less colourful life might have been if I had not taken up the challenge.
So let me ask you a question: what negative beliefs do you hold which are preventing you from charging what you’re worth?
- Others say I can’t charge that
- I don’t deserve it
- I’m not good enough
- What will people say
- I’m not comfortable talking about money
Do yourself a favour, never ever listen either to your own or to other people’s limiting beliefs. Remember, in my case, the professionals all said it was impossible and they were wrong!
If you have any questions in relation to this article, please contact me on 01202 743961 or 07957 672335 or visit my Contact Vanessa Page to book your complimentary True Worth Strategy Session.