No-one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.
And so said Eleanor Roosevelt and she was right.
This quotation came to mind as a result of personal shifts which I’ve been experiencing recently. I’ve gained a deeper understanding of what rejection is really all about and have come to the conclusion that no matter what happens, all rejection is, in fact, self-rejection.
I was shocked at first so I can just imagine what you, the reader may be saying about this – all rejection is self-rejection, how can that possibly be? She’s lost the plot! Such and such a person said or did this, that or the other and I felt rejected. I can’t possibly be responsible for that! Blame, blame, blame.
The truth is that you are just projecting your unconscious beliefs onto the world and the world is then reflecting back to you what you believe through other people! The outside world is always a mirror of your inside world. So if you’re feeling rejected by someone, you’re really rejecting yourself. If you weren’t, either the experience wouldn’t have shown up in your life or, if it did, you would not have interpreted it as rejection!
I realise that taking this on board is not an easy task. It takes desire, discipline and practice. No gain without pain, as the saying goes. However, the alternative is to stay stuck in those beliefs which make you a victim of other people’s behaviour and keep repeating the same old patterns.
So if you want to banish rejection from your life, you must and I repeat MUST adhere to the following three steps:
- Be willing to take responsibility for your feelings of rejection. Say to yourself or out loud (and mean it) “I’m willing to take responsibility for my feelings of rejection.”
- Then say, “I recognise, understand and accept that I and I alone have created them.”
- Make an agreement that you will not reject yourself any longer.
As with all mind work, remember, it’s a process and will take practice and compassion. It does not and will not help if you decide to beat yourself up, if you slip into the old behaviour. Remember, you’re learning something new and it takes time before the new behaviour becomes automatic.
So if you have a fear of rejection, and you’re not charging what you’re worth, start using the three-step process immediately.
If you have any questions in relation to this article, please contact me on 01202 743961 or 07957 672335 or visit my Contact Vanessa Page to book your complimentary True Worth Strategy Session.