About 3 weeks ago, on 6 September 2014,I decided to dip my toes in the water by putting a post on Linked In of a more personal nature (All the Best Coaches have Experienced Hard Times) and, to my utter surprise and delight, was immediately rewarded with 477 views in just 24 hours. There were also a number of orders for my book: True Worth: How to Charge What You’re Worth and Get It from as far afield as Australia and the States. However, the most heart-warming aspect of this was an email I received from a lawyer in Curacao (an island in the Caribbean in case you didn’t know) who read my book within 24 hours! In essence, it resonated with him so strongly that he felt the need to write and thank me for having written it.
In return, I’m so grateful to him for having taken the time to email me, and as a direct result of this, I feel inspired to share even more with you, go deeper and more personal. The purpose of this is for you to get to know me better and perhaps even experience some shifts for yourself.
On 28 August 1963, when I was just 9 years (and 2 days) old, Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered a speech beginning with the words “I Have a Dream” in which he called for an end to racism in the United States. 51 years later, I too have a dream and that dream is to spread True Worth to the 4 corners of the earth as I’ve come to realise that wherever you are in the world, the challenge of charging what you’re worth is the same. The reason for this is because self-worth is at the heart of everything we do and it drives our behaviour, so if you don’t feel 100% worthy, how can you possibly charge what you’re really worth? The simple answer is that you can not! So I’m calling for an end to a lack of self-worth!
To achieve this dream, I know that I have to overcome many more obstacles. For the longest time my self-image was extremely negative, including self-doubt, lack of self-belief, low self-esteem, not worthy, not good enough and so on. I spent much of time hiding away like a hermit, not feeling that I was good enough to be in the world. I now know that all of this is rubbish or garbage as our American friends would say.
Beneath the negative self-talk, lies a powerful, positive, person with unlimited possibilities and a burning desire to help more people. In my opinion, the single most thing which gets in the way for all of us is our own limiting beliefs – they are like weeds in a garden and you know what to do with weeds – pluck them out!
My biggest fear was rejection and abandonment and one day about 4 years ago, I woke with the following words in my mind:
We fear rejection and abandonment from others. We are scared that they will find us out, that we are an imposter and that we are not good enough. And so, we make ourselves small; we think small, we act small, in the belief that this will keep us safe. We reduce our life to the size of a postage stamp until we’re almost invisible. And yet the fear persists. In fact, the fear is even stronger. And then we have a moment of revelation. We remember that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real and that it’s only an illusion. So we step out of the fear, throw off our cloak of abandonment and reveal ourselves to the world. And the world then reveals itself to us. In that moment, the fear dissipates and we know that we are truly loved – for in the absence of fear, love must show itself and in that moment, we are free.
I am in the process of emerging from that FEAR – the chrysalis is turning into the beautiful butterfly I was always meant to be. I surround myself with coaches of all kinds – marketing and personal development, as I believe that it is intelligent to ask for help from the right sources. So many people bury their heads in the sand instead of asking for help. Asking for help is a strength and not a weakness. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are, you can’t do it all alone. And, when you invest in yourself, you flourish. Remember, you are a worthy investment.
Personally, I will not rest until I have eradicated all negativity in myself, so that the authentic me can take centre stage and speak my truth without fear of rejection or failure.
This is my journey and it’s yours too if you want it.
If you have any questions in relation to this article, please contact me on 01202 743961 or 07957 672335 or visit my Contact Vanessa Page to book your complimentary True Worth Strategy Session.