The title of this article appeared in my mind on Christmas Eve, although the subject had been swirling round my head for quite some time. In fact, a couple of weeks before Christmas I remember laughing and saying out loud – you’re such a control freak! There was no judgement – only realisation.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t know that before; it was just that I hadn’t realised to what extent I was a control freak or the impact that this was having on me. So when the title of the article appeared, I could have said, “well I’m definitely not going to write about that” but I decided that would be far too controlling. Since the title had appeared as if by magic, I realised that there must be a message in it for my readers, though I didn’t know what. So I’m allowing this article to write itself and not controlling it. (Well not too much anyway.)
How to Recognise if You’re a Control Freak
- Control freaks want to control everything in their lives (and sometimes in other peoples’ lives too!)
- They want things to be done their way.
- Control freaks plan things to the nth degree.
- They are probably also perfectionists.
- They may well lack confidence.
What are the Consequences?
- They get easily stressed if things don’t turn out the way they wanted.
- They are easily disappointed.
- They can be negative.
I have a strong feeling that this is common enough, particularly among my clients. However, it’s not the end of the world. As with all patterns of behaviour, it has been learned and therefore you can change it.
Do you recognise this in yourself? If so, do you want to do something about it?
Three Steps to Overcoming Being a Control Freak
- Recognise and admit that you’re a control freak. Once you do, you’re in a position to change.
- Be willing to change little by little. Choose a small situation to start with and decide not to control the outcome. Then build on this with more important situations.
- Keep practising.
After all, life is not something which you can control and in many respects, the more you can let go, the better it becomes. It’s a paradox. I’m not suggesting that you don’t plan anything because that’s the other end of the spectrum. However, it’s best to plan and then go with the flow. This way, you will reduce stress and disappointment and potentially enjoy life more.
I’m also pretty sure that being a control freak is one of the factors which stops people from charging what they’re worth because they’re trying to control the client’s response to their proposal. This means that they either under-sell themselves in the belief that this will get them the client or if they do ask for what they’re worth, they won’t get it, because they feel stressed and this negative energy will be picked up by the client. Either way, being a control freak will not help you in your business.
If you have any questions in relation to this article, please contact me on 01202 743961 or 07957 672335 or visit my Contact Vanessa Page to book your complimentary True Worth Strategy Session.