Let’s get straight to the point. Do you want to be master (or mistress?) of your own destiny? If the answer is a resounding yes, then please read on.
Are you aware that you talk to yourself? I don’t mean out loud, although some of us do do that (me being one of them), I actually mean in your head. The key to
self-mastery is in what you say to yourself. You may be thinking, do I talk to myself? I don’t think so! Well clearly you do – in fact, we all do.
The question is, what is that voice saying to you? (Although in reality there’s only one voice, I tend to think of it as two).
Which Voice Are You Listening To?
Don’t worry, I’m not for one moment suggesting that you may be schizophrenic or have multiple personality disorders – though I’m not excluding those. Sorry – my sense of humour! Do you have a voice screaming in your ear saying that you can’t do it, you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re stupid or some other negative comment which does not serve you? If so, this is the voice of fear and doubt and often it’s very, very loud.
Or is the voice whispering in your ear that you’re an amazing creator, you’re good at what you do and you’re pretty damn cool? This is the voice of truth; it’s often been neglected if not discounted or totally ignored – so it’s much quieter and easy not to hear.
So let me ask you a question – which voice are you listening to? Whichever voice you answer is the one which you’re feeding and cultivating.
Don’t Create The Wrong Story
Here’s the thing. When a situation occurs that you deem negative, don’t create a negative story around it, because it’s the story which then creates your reality and becomes your truth, even though it’s not true!
For example, say you’re in a business meeting and you’re pitching to a potential client. You went in with high expectations that they would become a client, but they do not take you up on your offer. Do you immediately create a story which says, you’re no good at selling, there must be something wrong with you and blame yourself, rather than finding out what the potential client’s objections are? If so, that story then feeds the voice of fear and doubt which gets stronger and louder.
Self-mastery is the solution.
A Cool Technique
So if you’re listening to the wrong voice, let’s look at a technique which you can use to shift the focus to the right one. This was taught to me by a coach in the States and hit me hard.
Do you like animals? (If you don’t like animals, then I’m sorry, you’ll have to think of something else.)
Think of an animal you really like and one you don’t like.
For example, I really dislike snakes (I know that technically it’s not an animal, but I use the term loosely). On the other hand, I love dogs.
Consider the snake therefore to be the old story (the voice of fear and doubt) which has been fed and fed and fed. So the snake has grown in size and become more dangerous and it’s poisonous. It hisses loudly and frightens you into submission. But guess what? You fed it in the first place! You gave it its power. Are you mad? No, just mistaken.
Create A New Story
Now think of the dog as the new story. Perhaps you’ve not actually written the new story yet. If you haven’t, take a piece of A4 paper and describe how you would like your life to be. It’s your story and you can create it anyway you like. Make it strong and beautiful. How do you want to be, what do you want to do and what do you want to have? You can’t get it wrong because it’s your story! Then you must read your new story out loud every morning and every evening. It’s the equivalent of feeding your dog which you love (or whatever animal you chose.) If you don’t feed the dog, it will starve. As you feed the dog and stop feeding the snake, gradually the snake will die away and the dog will thrive. Your new story will become your truth.
Focus Focus Focus
It’s all a question of focus. The only mistake that you’ve made is to focus on the wrong things. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. When the snake starts hissing, counteract it with a woof! In fact, when I notice myself go into negative thinking, I say to myself “Feed the dog.”
Make self-mastery your number 1 goal by:
- Listening to and feeding the voice of truth (the dog.)
- Starving the voice of fear and doubt. (the snake.)
- Focusing on what you want.
- Taking the steps to achieve what you want
- Expecting miracles.
And finally, decide, right now, which team you’re on and go for it – because, in the words of L’Oreal – you’re worth it!
If you have any questions in relation to this article, please contact me on 01202 743961 or 07957 672335 or visit my Contact Vanessa Page to book your complimentary True Worth Strategy Session.