Are you in charge of your business or is your business in charge of you? It’s an important question for you to answer as the impact of not being in charge may be catastrophic financially, physically and emotionally.
Typically, my clients are very good at what they do, highly conscientious, perfectionist, people-pleasers, who more often than not put others first even to the detriment of themselves and their businesses. They also do not realise the full extent of what they’re doing, since their behaviour is based on their unconscious programmes, rather than rational conscious decision-making.
All humans have been programmed and are therefore hostage to a greater or lesser degree to their conditioning; some of which is beneficial and some is not. The negative or limiting conditioning creates fear-based thinking leading to behaviour which is detrimental and the person appears powerless to change this.
Of course, it’s important to provide a high level of service to your clients but certainly not at the expense of the business as this creates an imbalance which leads to many problems as alluded to in the first paragraph.
Perhaps you’re undercharging or maybe you’re discounting your fees for no apparent reason or possibly you’re doing too much work for free. You may even be doing all three, which means that you’re throwing money away hand over fist. The more often you do these, the more money you’re losing. It also means that you’re probably spending far too much time working to make up for the shortfall and you’re possibly feeling overworked, stressed, tired and resentful. In extreme cases, this can lead to health issues, strained relationships, lack of fun/family time/me time and ultimately overwhelm.
This certainly is the case with a new client who apart from under-charging and over-servicing has also been working with clients who she doesn’t enjoy working with, even though she has a full diary! It’s amazing how extreme some behaviours can be. However, I’m pleased to report that significant changes are already occurring which are starting to bring her back into balance. When balance is returned, the war within is over.
I’d like to share a simple technique for being able to get out of your patterns and take back control by stepping out of the emotion.
- Consciously recognise that you are experiencing some form of negative emotion.
- Stand up (if you are sitting) and take an exaggerated step backwards so that you are literally stepping out of the emotion. Simultaneously say out loud, I am stepping out of this emotion. I am not this emotion. This emotion is not me. I am completely separate from it. Say it with emphasis. (By doing this, you are dissociating from the emotion and recognising that you are not it.) This will automatically change your state and bring you into clarity. From this position, you can make rational decisions about what you want to do.
- Then say out loud three times: “I choose to let this feeling go. It does not serve me. I now choose to be happy, confident or whatever other positive emotion you desire.” (In this way, you are consciously choosing a new way of thinking, feeling and acting which will serve you better.) .
- Acknowledge yourself for having consciously dealt with the emotion rather than staying in it and being its unconscious victim. Make sure that you include this step as it reinforces the new behaviour and will make you feel good.
- As always, when wanting to create new habits and behaviours, the key is in repetition, so practise, practise, practise.
NB If you’re in a business meeting, when you will not be able to do this, just do step 2 in your head. This means that you will be in a much better position to think rationally and therefore respond to the person in front of you in a more confident and professional manner.
So if you recognise yourself in any of this, I urge you to complete this simple 2 minute survey which will help you understand what it’s costing you financially, physically and emotionally. On completion, you’ll receive a free report on How to Charge What You’re Worth and Get It which has been described by one client as enlightening and frightening.